Let me tell you about my spouse, Clark. My name is Sophie. Do you know the type of person who is constantly stressed out and who believes that his job is the most important thing in the world? I understand, don’t you comprehend it, but hello? Also, being a mother isn’t exactly a spa day. Anyway, this time he truly went above and above. Are you prepared for this?
Alright, so last month we were meant to spend the holidays with his family. The goal was to unwind, strengthen family ties, and provide the children with enjoyable memories. Easy enough, isn’t it?
As soon as Clark offered to arrange the flights, I thought, “Great, one less thing for me to worry about.”
How foolish I was, oh.
“Clark, honey, where are our seats?” With a diaper bag on one hip and our toddler on the other, I inquired. A tangle of anxious families and businesspeople hurried to their gates at the airport.
My beloved husband of eight years, Clark, was occupied with tapping on his phone. Without without glancing up, he muttered, “Oh, um, about that…”
A knot started to form in my stomach. “What do you mean, ‘about that’?”
At last, he put his phone in his pocket and smiled at me with the sheepish look I had grown to fear.
“Well, Mom and I were able to upgrade to first class because to my efforts. I really need to get some rest, because you know how she gets on such flights.”
Hold on. An improvement for the two of them alone? I waited for the joke while I looked at him. It never arrived.
I yelled, “So, let me get this straight,” “You and your mother are sitting in first class, while I’m stuck in economy with both kids?”
Clark was so bold as to shrug. This guy’s nerves. Oh no.
“Come on. Don’t be such a drama queen! Soph, it’s only a few hours. You’ll be alright.”
His mother, Nadia, showed up with fancy baggage as if on cue. “Oh, Clark! You’re there. Are we prepared for our opulent journey?”
I swear I could have melted in her presence as she grinned as though she had just won an Olympic medal.
They strolled off to the first-class lounge, leaving me with two grumpy children and an increasing thirst for vengeance.
I mumbled, “Oh, it’ll be luxurious alright,” while a tasty, trivial scheme simmered in my mind. “Just you wait.”
I was struck by the stark contrast between first class and economy as soon as we got on the aircraft. As I fumbled to get our carry-on into the overhead bin, Clark and Nadia were already enjoying champagne.
“Mommy, I want to sit with Daddy!” whimpered our five-year-old.
I made an effort to grin. “No, darling, not this time. Grandma and Daddy are seated in a designated area of the aircraft.”
“Why can’t we sit there too?”
“Because Daddy’s a special kind of jerk.”
“What was that, Mommy?”
“Nothin’, honey. Let’s secure your seat.”
I saw Clark lounging in his roomy seat, seeming all too happy with himself, while I was settling the children. I realized then that I had his wallet. Yes! Here’s how!
Earlier, I quietly fell behind as we made our way through the security checkpoint. I slipped my hand into his carry-on while Clark and Nadia were deep in conversation. I found his wallet quickly, put it in my purse, and went back to waiting as if nothing had occurred. Clever, huh? Yes, I am aware! Yes, I am aware!
Alright, let’s resume where we left off. As I looked at Clark, a sly smile appeared on my face. Things were going to get much more interesting on this journey.
My children had fallen asleep two hours into the flight, and I was relishing the silence. At that moment, I noticed the flight attendant carrying a tray of upscale meals toward the first-class cabin. Delicious!
While I was forced to eat airplane pretzels, it was like seeing a hound salivate over a succulent steak.
I saw Clark indulge in every luxury imaginable by ordering the priciest foods on the menu, along with premium liquor.
Another flight attendant said, “Would you like anything from the snack cart, ma’am?”
I grinned. “Please, just water. Perhaps some popcorn as well. I feel like I’m going to see a very amazing show.”
Despite appearing perplexed, the attendant complied.
About half an hour later, as I had anticipated, I observed Clark feverishly going through his pockets. When he noticed his wallet was gone, the color left his face.
His body language told me everything, even though I couldn’t understand what he was saying. The flight attendant was waiting for payment while standing up and holding out her hand.
Clark was making crazy gestures and raising his voice just enough for me to hear bits and pieces.
“However, I’m positive I had it. Can’t we just land and I’ll pay?”
I munched on my popcorn while relaxing. This was far superior than the in-flight entertainment. This was incredible!
The moment I had been anticipating finally came. Clark walked down the aisle to economy class, looking like a reprimanded schoolboy. And to me, too!
“Soph,” he muttered quickly as he crouched beside my chair. “My wallet is nowhere to be seen. Tell me you have some money, please.”
I put on my most worried expression. “Oh no! That’s awful, my dear. How much do you require?”
He flinched. “Uh, about $1500?”
My water almost swallowed me. Five hundred thousand dollars? How could you have ordered anything? “The blue whale?!”
“Look, it doesn’t matter,” he growled, fearfully turning to face first class. “Do you have it or not?”
I pretended to search through my purse. “Let’s check. I have roughly $200. Will that be beneficial?”
His expression of despair was invaluable. “I suppose it’s better than nothing. Thank you.”
“Hey, doesn’t your mom have her credit card?” I said politely as he turned to go. She would be delighted to assist, I’m sure.
When Clark realized he would have to ask his mother to save him, the color left his face. This was preferable to any retaliation I could have thought of.
The flight was deliciously unpleasant for the remainder of it. After their first-class experience was completely destroyed, Clark and Nadia sat in stony silence. In the meantime, I relished my economy seat with renewed happiness.
Clark returned to economy one last time as we started to descend.
Have you seen my wallet, Soph? I’ve searched everywhere.
I put on my most naive expression. “No, sweetheart. Do you really think you left it at home?”
Frustrated, he raked his hands through his hair. “At the airport, I thought I had it. This is a nightmare.”
“Well,” I patted his arm and said, “at least you got to enjoy first class, right?”
He could have curdled milk with the glare he gave me. “Yeah, real enjoyable.”
I couldn’t help but feel a little satisfied as he crept back to his seat. I’ve learned my lesson!
Clark looked as sour as a lemon after the flight. Nadia had shrewdly vanished into the bathroom, most likely to escape the expression on his face. She was not to blame. Clark’s mood wasn’t getting any better, and it was one of those classic “if looks could kill” situations.
Clark mumbled, “I can’t believe I lost my wallet,” as he repeatedly tapped his pockets.
“Are you sure you didn’t leave it in first class?” Trying to maintain a straight expression, I asked.
He glared at me. “I checked already. Twice.”
I bit my lip to contain the smile that was on the verge of escaping. This was just too good.
“Maybe it fell out during one of those fancy meals they served you.”
“Soph, that’s hilarious. This is serious. There must be a method to find it.”
Then his shoulders slumped and he sighed deeply. “All I can hope is that nobody picked it up and took it. It contains all of our cards.”
“Yeah, that would suck!”
I casually zipped my bag shut, keeping my little secret safely inside, while Clark continued to complain about his lost money. I wasn’t going to give him a pass just yet.
In addition, it was strangely nice to watch him wriggle a bit after leaving us for first class.
I couldn’t help but become a little thrilled as we left the airport. Before returning it, I would use his card to buy myself something lovely and keep the wallet hidden for a little while longer. Nobody is ever harmed by a little creative justice!
Therefore, fellow travelers, keep in mind that a little creative justice could be the key to a pleasant journey if your companion ever tries to upgrade themselves and abandon you. After all, in the flight of life, we’re all in this together… economy or first class!
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