The Hidden Truth Behind Dreaming of the Deceased

When we dream, our brain is actively processing various tasks—such as reflecting on the day and strategizing how to handle challenges at work or school. So, it’s no surprise that someone we care about—or have loved and lost—might appear in our dreams. According to experts, there are several reasons why this happens.

Dreaming about a deceased loved one is a common experience, with grief being the primary reason behind it. “Dreams involving those who have passed are quite frequent and represent a normal part of the grieving process,” says Dr. Michelle King. In fact, one study revealed that over half of the participants reported dreaming about their departed loved ones.

These dreams can have a therapeutic effect, helping the brain navigate the pain of loss and move toward acceptance. Interestingly, people often describe these dreams as both comforting and unsettling at the same time.

Another reason people may dream of a deceased loved one is the mind’s effort to find meaning in the loss. “We’re still trying to make sense of losing someone close to us, especially when the loss feels senseless,” explains Margaret Pendergrass, a licensed clinical social worker and certified grief counselor in Roswell, GA. She adds, “Experiencing a grief dream simply indicates that our brains are still working to process the emotional impact of that loss.”

Dreams can also provide insight into meaningful or difficult moments from our past. “These types of dreams often reflect memories from earlier in life that we’re still working to process and make sense of,” she explains. “After the loss of a loved one, unresolved memories may resurface, prompting reflection and emotional understanding.”

The stages of grief were first introduced by Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969 and represent common emotional responses to the loss of a loved one. However, grief isn’t limited to death—it can also arise from any major life transition, even positive ones, such as a job promotion or relocating to a new place. The five recognized stages of grief are:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Grief involves many emotional phases, but it’s a misconception that these stages follow a set order. Instead, grief often strikes unpredictably and varies greatly between individuals. Emotions rise and fall like waves rather than progressing through clear-cut “stages.” It’s common to feel you’ve reached acceptance, only to be reminded of unresolved feelings—perhaps through a dream—showing that the healing process is ongoing.

The practice of interpreting dreams dates back thousands of years. For example, Hippocrates (460–377 BCE) believed dreams could reveal hidden medical issues, offering insights into a person’s physical health. In more recent times, psychologists such as Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung viewed dreams as ways to protect us from internal conflicts and to reveal unconscious emotions and desires.

Although the exact meaning of any dream remains uncertain, various theories provide useful perspectives. Research shows that processing the emotions stirred by dreams can positively influence mental well-being. Often, dreams play a significant role in the healing journey following the loss of a loved one.

While many mental health fields exist, certain aspects—like understanding the meaning of a dream—often depend on individual circumstances and remain largely speculative. Dr. Kind emphasizes that dream interpretation is not precise.

“Dream interpretation isn’t an exact science and can differ widely based on cultural background, personal experiences, and context,” she explains. Still, interpreting dreams can offer therapeutic value and assist us in processing our emotions.

When we lose loved ones suddenly, many feelings often remain unexpressed. Dreams can serve as a means to process these intense emotions and unsaid words. Dr. King explains, “If the deceased appears troubled or the dream feels disturbing, it may reflect the dreamer’s unresolved guilt, anger, or sadness connected to that person.”

Though many feel that their deceased loved ones visit them in dreams with important messages, King clarifies that this isn’t quite accurate. Instead, these dreams are actually signals sent by the brain itself.

“Sometimes, a dream featuring a deceased loved one may occur because you long to reconnect with them,” explains King. “In such dreams, the dreamer often interacts with the person as if they were still alive, reflecting a deep desire for connection or the ongoing presence of that person in the dreamer’s subconscious.”

Because everyone’s grief journey is unique, it’s difficult to put a fixed timeline on how someone processes their feelings. However, there are several helpful tools that can support healing and recovery during this process. Some examples include:

1. Journaling (such as documenting dreams or emotions that arise from them)
2. Speaking with a grief counselor
3. Maintaining a regular sleep schedule
4. Ensuring a full night’s rest
5. Practicing mindfulness techniques like yoga, meditation, or somatic therapy
6. Eating a healthy, well-balanced diet
7. Getting regular exercise

While many of these practices are commonly recommended for overall wellness, they’re especially effective when combined to support mental and emotional health. These tools can help alleviate stress, exhaustion, sadness, loss, and anger. In some cases, additional care like medication or regular therapy sessions may be necessary to fully work through grief. Regardless, nurturing your emotional needs and addressing unresolved feelings is vital to prevent emotional breakdowns or burnout.