The narcissistic mother: one of the most terrifying personalities

Narcissism refers to a personality disorder where the person has an unreasonably high sense of their own importance and constantly seeks the admiration and attention of others. It is considered a mental health condition that can create issues in many areas of the affected person’s life, including personal relationships and work.

WebMD states that “narcissism can be a trait, but it can also be a part of a larger personality disorder.”

At the extreme end of the spectrum, there is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), a condition diagnosed by medical professionals.

Common signs of NPD are often called by the acronym SPECIAL ME, WebMD notes.

• Sense of self-importance
• Preoccupation with power, beauty, or success
• Entitled
• Can only be around people who are important or special
• Interpersonally exploitive for their own gain
• Arrogant
• Lack empathy
• Must be admired
• Envious of others or believe that others are envious of them

Being around a person who is narcissistic can be hard, but it’s even worse when you are raised by one.

The issue with narcissistic parents, especially mothers, is that they can affect their child’s development in a negative way.

Their emotional toxicity puts the child at risks of experiencing anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and low self-worth.

Some of the things these mothers do is compare you with others using words such as, “Why can’t you be more like (someone else)?” or make you question your self-worth.

Narcissistic mothers invalidate their children’s emotions and achievements, dismissing their feelings instead of offering support. They manipulate emotions, making children doubt themselves and struggle for approval, often feeling they’ll never be good enough.

What’s most, a narcissistic mother tends to create rivalry among siblings by favoring one of the children.

The situation is even worse when these mother’s have daughters and see them as a “threat,” thus compete with them for the attention of the other men in both their lives, including the husband/dad and son/brother.

Other characteristics of a narcissistic mother are: not respecting her children’s boundaries, sees her child as an extension of herself, constantly criticizes her children, sets unrealistic expectations, she’s obsessed with maintaining perfect appearance in front of others, ignores her children’s needs, competes with her children, only treats her children well in public, shows jealousy of her children, and expects admiration.

According to Psychotherapist Lena Derhally, some things they could say are as follows:

1. “That never happened. You must have imagined it.”
2. “I do so much for you, and you never show appreciation!”
3. “You should try being more like your [another person]. They’re so wonderful.”
4. “Why can’t you just get over it already?”
5. “Don’t waste your time. It’s probably too hard for you.”
6. “You’re always so busy with your own life that you don’t even think about me.”
7. “I’m so tired of doing everything for you.”
8. “You’re gaining weight and won’t be able to fit your new clothes soon.”
9. “I’m going to have to punish you if you don’t do exactly what I say.”
10. “Be quiet. Nobody cares what you have to say.”

Dealing with a narcissistic mother can be tough.

However, once you realize your mother is one, there are certain things to do in order to protect yourself from her behavior.

First and most important of all is to stop blaming yourself, because who your mother is isn’t your fault. Next, you can try and set boundaries, minimize contact and communication, work on your self-esteem, stay calm and respectful, and eventually, if you believe you need professional help to deal with a narcissistic mother, don’t be ashamed or afraid to seek professional support.

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