When you fall in love with someone, you usually believe itโs forever. The reality is that things donโt always turn out as expected and people get separated all the time.
When one husband decided to untie the knot with his wife, he though it would be less painful if he just writes her a letter, explaining why he wanted to leave her. However, he never assumed his decision would backfire on him, as his witty wifeโs reply taught him a lesson. This is nothing less than brilliant and hilarious!
Dear Wife,
Iโm writing you this letter to tell you that Iโm leaving you for good. Iโve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didnโt even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You donโt tell me you love me anymore; you donโt want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either youโre cheating on me or you donโt love me anymore; whatever the case, Itโs over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. donโt try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. Itโs definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what youโve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesnโt seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was โYou look just like a girl!โ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you canโt say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you wonโt get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I donโt know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope thatโs not a problem!
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